I am worried …
Whilst in the darkness, I was smiling.
I had time, I had all night to track down my thoughts.

Every evening, I revisited the searches of my childhood.
I thought of the top of a cheese box on which the picture of the goddess Hathor getting smaller and smaller had never stopped existing.
This space already fascinated me and it was damaging my mind.

Every morning of my childhood,
I woke up with the landscape of the walls of my bedroom.
I imagined that they could multiply themselves forever and forever.
But I came to a stop at the straight line of infinity.

Sometimes, on certain afternoons,
I came back from school stamping on the sun drenched drops of tar on the road.
But I always came to a halt at the impossible
Of wishing to be able to retake my last step.
And I dwelled long upon on this calculation of eternity.

Later I experimented with sensations, as I wanted everything.
I wanted everything.
I wanted everything all at the same time.
If the desire to have the universe was it?
Then, time wouldn’t exist ?
Then, time would only exist because it is desire?

Within the limits of my own searches,
I put Everything together like the quintessence of my experiments of the five senses.
And I wallpapered  the images of time of the Apocalypse.

I dreamt of the reunion of the senses.

I experimented with the blue limit of the sea that was fighting with the infinity of the sky…And
I listened to the Berlioz’s great symphony…
But it was incomplete.
I ate chocolate, And
I smelled perfum And,
I started to dream about a man, And,

Sometimes I got annoyed :
I liked Berlioz’s music too much,
I was forgetting about the sea, 
I was eating too much chocolate
I was neglecting the perfume.
I wanted myself to be multiple.

It was like this that I taught myself to travel along the borders.

Now I always wake up during the night.
On the tracking down of the origin, I lost my sleep.
In order to find a remedy I conceived a stratagem:
Forbidding for me to think!
Emptying  my mind completely!

With an enormous strength that gave birth to a pain
In the front part of my brain,
I managed to get through this sleep experiment.
But I understood that my own carrying spirit wouldn’t allow me to go to where I was losing my memory.
So not to think is to lose the meaning of time?
It’s losing memory of what doesn’t exist?

I concluded that for us as Men,
It was excluded to refuse a thought that nourishes us.
We are born in a memory that maintains us in the meanders of our divine essence.
Our collective memory would be the creator of what exists.

For this quest of the origin, I enriched my methods.
I trusted in Einstein.
I adored how he stuck his tongue out to the world of men.

I didn’t understand straight away why space and time are curved but I corrected the straight line of my childhood.
The curve spread out like a wave in my imagination.
All curves being the starting point of a circle, I understood in my own way that the universe was finished.
Unless it is a spiral.

Then, I visualised as a curved funnel.
The black hole of the mouth could absorb the other end.
And if we lived in a universe that devoured itself…
That ate itself up in the black holes that it secreted...

I guessed the poet of the universe aspired by thought.
Inspired, I imagined that he was multiple.
And I thought
Of God,
Of Strength
Of Light
Of Origin.

In order to force the limited doorways of my sleep
I invented other pathways.
I loved going back through the chain of evolution and up there,
When I had stripped the living,
In the middle of the blue alga,
At the end of the chain, what I met,
Was sexuality.

It was the desire of the other to continue being throughout time.
But, hadn’t I already concluded that time didn’t exist?
What are we expecting from this already aborted universe?
And who would really worry about the universe if there weren’t men to think about it ?

I had a feeling that it was necessary to be multiple in order to understand.
I came back to men as it’s wise to look for the origin of thought in those who secrete it.
On the borders of my searches, I saw three men who guided me.

First of all John the acrobat nicknammed  John Tuppence.
He always sang when he was the worse for drink.
Hidden behind the bar, the acrobat frightened and fascinated me at the same time with his ritual of grimaces that he made in front of the mirror.
As soon as my father had got him out I would take his place
And I tried to rival with him.

Later I was fascinated by Einstein.
Like the acrobat, he stuck his tongue out to the world.
I adored him so much for that.
But Einstein was of an enigmatic essence.
In order to try to approach him I tried to understand him.
It’s with him that I refound the straight line of infinity and time that seemed never to have been rejoined.

The third man that I found fascinating was
Jesus Christ
I had been taught that he was God.
But how can one be light and matter at the same time I said to myself ?
People spoke to me about miracles.
I continued my travels through my imagination in order to understand.
I knew it was there, the answer was to be found at the border.
Now that I am on my way back from my travels
I can give you the reply ….

Me Aniere, the donkey driver,

If I hear the laughing of donkeys,
I listen to the nightingales singing….
In the leaves of  Euphrate’s poplar trees



These coloured thoughts
You must grasp them ! !
Now entering into the third millenium

You will find them in this novel :

« The travel journals of Aniere »

Femme à la montre.
Pablo Picasso, 1936.
Reproduit avec l'autorisation de la "Succession Picasso" Année 2000